Incorrect RP quotes

jem tes quotes

Akiro : *after just waking up* Oh, hmm... I dreamed.
Jan : So did I! What'd you dream?
Akiro : I was on a beach in the South Seas with my friends. The tide was coming up over my toes, the sun was beating down my skin... It was wonderful. Ah, so what was yours?
Jan : I dreamt that I tore all the skin off my face and was someone else underneath.
*a long pause*
Akiro : You have problems.
Jan : I’m aware of that.

Owain : It’s a good thing I still have my sexy cat costume from Halloween.
Akane : I really don’t think you were the target audience for that item.
Owain : There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

Daniel : Mistakes were made.
Charles : By you.
Daniel : And people got hurt.
Charles : By you!

"As you can see, this plan provides many opportunities for me to die in a fiery explosion." - Akane

Akane : It’s over, I won.
[Liberty rising up from behind her]
Akane : No. I won. I’m not turning around and looking at it. I won.
je croyais l'avoir déjà faite mais apparemment non ??

Owain : Do you think there is a chance that Akane likes me ?
Rozetta : Oh, yes !
Rozetta : You're so sweet, so caring, so smart, so beautiful, of course I love you !
Rozetta : ...
Owain : ...

Charles : Love is in the air!
Jan, spraying a can of Febreze and holding his shirt over his nose : Not anymore.

Edea : I'M DROWNING HELP
Jan : Calm down, it's just five feet of water.
Edea : NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE TALL

Owain : What's the word for horny but not in a sexual way? Like, I'm excited for Halloween, but I don't wanna fuck a pumpkin. You feel me?
Rick : I think the word you're looking for is "excited".

Akiro : Excuse me. I would like to buy this abstract, surrealist, post-modern painting of this depressive and tormented man.
Salesman : Sir, that’s a mirror.

Daniel : Anything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, starting right now.
Charles : I think you're cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and don't think of anybody but yourself.
Daniel : But--
Charles : But what? I still have twenty-two seconds, and I'm not done.

Arya : Did it hurt?
Akane : When I fell from heaven?
Arya : No, when you broke through the earth's crust and ascended from hell.

Owain: Oh, yeah? Can you picture me telling our kid ‘Go to your room! You’re grounded!’
Akane: Can you picture me saying you’re grounded?
Owain: You said that to me last week.
Akane: Well, how hard is it, Owain? No shoes on the furniture!

Adam: Hey, Liberty, do you want me to do a tarot card reading for you?
Liberty: Oh, sure!
Adam: (lays down cards) Alright, this one tells me you’re a precious angel, this one says your smile is heavenly, and-
Liberty: Adam, these aren’t even tarot cards, they’re just pictures of me...

Rick: (sees Rozetta running with something) Let me see what you have!
Rozetta: (excited) A knife!
Rick: (panicked) NO!

Owain: Should I take my shirt off?
Alan: No one asked you to take your shirt off. Stop volunteering to take your shirt off.
Owain: Can't hear you. Shirt's over my ears.

Owain: Excuse me? Who made Akane the boss of the group?
Akane: You did.
Rick: You said, "Akane should be the boss."
Pearl: And then you said, "Let's vote" and it was unanimous.
Ada: And then you made her this plaque that said "Boss of Us".
Rozetta: You put little sparkles on it.
Owain: ...All valid points.

Owain: Remember when you dared Akane and I to fight Liberty?
Rick: No. I said, "Akane, Owain, don't fight Liberty." And you said, "Don't tell us what to do, Rick." And then you fought Liberty.

Akane: (breathes)
Arya: Why is she doing that?
Charles: Doing what, Arya?
Arya: Look at Akane over there, breathing and shit.

Owain: I’m the type of guy who likes to think things through.
Akane: Remember that time you tried to eat a marshmallow while it was still on fire?

Daniel: I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like him a little bit.
Arya: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Daniel: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Arya: My mistake.

Owain: I’m an idiot.
Akane:
Rick:
Owain:
Akane: If you’re waiting for us to disagree this is going to be a long night.

Owain: When you become famous you’re called a legend because your leg ends.
Akane: What?
Owain: Your leg. It ends.
Rozetta: I’m not a linguist but I think that’s wrong.
Owain: Are you saying your leg doesn’t end?
Rozetta: I mean…at some point our legs end-
Owain: Then what’s the problem?

Jan: Akiro sneezed earlier and I accidentally said ‘shut the fuck up’ instead of ‘bless you’.
Arya: How do you accidentally say ‘shut the fuck up’?

Owain : He made Adam cry !
Rick : Adam always cries.
Adam, crying : That's not true !

Akane : Join us or die ?
Akane : Well guess what, there's a third choice.
Akane : And that's FUCK YOU !

Akane : A while ago, I lost my friend, Owain...
Owain : I'm- QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD !
Akane : Sometimes I can still hear his voice-

Liberty : I am not a mother, I don't even have any children !
Edea : *passes her* 'sup Mom ?
Liberty : Oh, hey.
Arya : Mom, is it okay if Charles and I see the new Star Wars tonight ?
Liberty : Yeah, just be home by ten.
Liberty :
Liberty : Okay, listen

Mayu : *sits bolt upright in bed* Oh, crap, I'm late for school !
Mayu : Oh, wait, I'm twenty-eight. *lays back down*
Mayu : *shoots back up* I'M THE TEACHER !

Charles : We're about to die, Daniel ! Do you really want your last words to be sarcastic ?!
Daniel : *sarcastically* Noooooooooo.

"Hey there, demons… It’s me… Ya boi." - Jan

Akiro : I just got a new notebook. What should I put in it ?
Owain : Put spaghetti in it.
Akiro : I am taking suggestions from anyone else.
Adam : Put spaghetti in it.
Akiro : I am taking suggestions from anyone except you two.
Jan : Put spaghetti in it.
Akiro : I am no longer taking suggestions.

Akane : I'm making dinner tonight. You should come over.
Owain : Okay, sure.
Akane : I'm making spaghetti and meatballs.
Owain : Swaghetti and memeballs.
Akane : You are uninvited.
Owain : That's fair.

Satan : Hey, I bought your soul last week and--
Jan : No returns.
Satan : Please. It's making me sad.

Rozetta : *running with something in her hand*
Akane : Let me see what you have.
Rozetta : *excitedly* A knife!
Akane : NO!
Owain : Oh, my God, why does she have a knife--

Daniel : *carrying multiple large buckets into the room* I did it. It wasn't easy, but I got you twelve gallons of blood.
Charles : Wow, where'd you get twelve gallons of fake blood?
Daniel : *dropping buckets on the ground* You wanted fake blood?
Charles :
Daniel :
Charles :
Daniel : ...I need to make a quick phone call.

Katherine : Are you trying to hurt my feelings?
Katherine : Because if so, then you are succeeding.
Katherine : Fortunately my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal person’s.

"It’s your conscience. We don’t speak much these days." - Akiro to Jan

i AM BACK BBY

"Sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments" - Rick

"You know you've made a good pun when everyone's immediate response upon hearing it is "shut the fuck up"" - Owain

Lillia : Words ending in "ie" are so cute! Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-
Rick : Die

Jan : Someone needs to take me out.
Akiro : Like on a date or with a sniper?
Jan : *shrugs* Surprise me.

"Some girls are full of heartbreak and poetry and those are the kind of girls who try to save wolves instead of running away from them." - Daniel about Lillia

Charles : Were you ever nice?
Daniel : 1985. Worst year of my life.

Akane : Did Owain just tell me he loved me for the first time?
Rozetta : Yes.
Akane: And did I do fingerguns back?
Rozetta : Yes you did.

I have things to do so, gotta keep it short 8DDD

Y a trois semaines j'ai fait un super long post de quotes puis je l'ai supprimé sans faire exprès.
Donc prenez ces cheap-Lillia-free quotes instead

Akiro : When you said you did magic in bed, this isn't what I was expe-
Jan [holding up a 9 of clubs] : Is this your card ?
Akiro [softly] : Holy shit

*texting*
Akane : Is gif pronounced "gif" or "gif"?
Jan : Gif
Akane : See, that's what I thought

Akiro : Do you want a protein shake bro?
Jan : Nah bro
Akiro : Why bro?
Jan : Because you are the one who gives me strength bro
Akiro : Bro…

lacking characters to work with, Jan is falling into a pit of "bro" humour

Akane : Prepare for trouble !
Rozetta : Make it double!
Alan : Someone kill me.

Akane : You stabbed me!
Daniel : Oh, come on. Just a little. It's fine.

Beryl : Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak. Like, look at this flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.
Akane : Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Rozetta : We're not scared of you, Liberty !
Katherine : I kind of am.
Rozetta : Katherine, shut the fuck up.

Alan : I really like guys--
Arya : Oh ?
Alan : --sers! Geysers !
Arya : Oh.
Alan : I also really like dudes.
Arya : *chokes on drink*

Charles : Does it ever scare you that the sun won't last forever? That one day it'll explode, killing us all in fiery destruction?
Daniel : Trust me, you'll be dead long before then.
Charles : I don't know if that's reassurance or a threat.

Jan : I think I isolated the algorithm for making friends.
Akiro : Jan, there is no algorithm for making friends.
Akane : Hear him out, if he’s really on to something we can open a booth at Comic-Con and make a fortune.

Akane : *kicks the door open with a panicked look*
Jan : What did you do ?!
Akane : Nobody died !
Jan : WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Akiro : You can rip off the arms of skeletons and use them as weapons in the new Zelda.
Akane : You can do that in real life if you aren't a fucking coward.

Owain : I just kinda feel like we were meant to be together. I mean, look at how fate keeps throwing us at each other.
Akane : It's 3AM and you're stuck in my window. How did you even get there?
Owain : Fate, Akane, weren't you listening?
I'm sorry I had to ;;

I'm sorry for double-posting and I'd love it if someone else could post some gud quotes but this one's just to good :

Rozetta, joyfully : Jan, you're a thot!
Jan : ...
Jan : *starts laugh-crying uncontrollably*
Akiro : wHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
Rozetta : I'M SORRY! NED SAID IT WAS A WORD FOR "FRIEND"!
Ned, patting Rozetta's head : That's right, Rozetta. He is a thot.
Alan : I really wish you wouldn't teach her those words.

Owain: Shoutout to my mom for making the most perfect kid ever.
Akane: Congratulations to your sibling.

Akiro, on Jan's birthday: Okay, make a wish!
Jan: *blows out candles*
Jan: I wish you all would leave.

At Newwell's Halloween party.
Alan: Oh, it’s totally okay you didn’t wear a costume!
Arya: I did. I’m a straight person.
Jan: *enters wearing the same outfit*
Arya: See?
our newwell gays are amazing bless them all

Akane: You use emojis like a straight person.
Arya: That is the worst thing you ever could have said to me.

Liberty: You wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Rozetta: You’re right. Because a fly is an innocent creature who’s never hurt anybody. You, however, I would maim.

Charles: Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on in here?!
Akane: It’s kind of complicated, but Daniel-
Charles: Got it. Forget I asked.

Madilynn: There’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you and I think you’re ready to hear it.
Jan: Yeah?
Madilynn: You’re not very pretty, and you’re not very bright.
Jan:
Madilynn: Oh, I’m so glad we had that talk.

Alan: I’ve heard you have extremely high standards in men.
Arya: I do. They just need to be girls.

Charles: If you’re having dad problems, that’s my jam, son!
Arya: Real weird take on my crappy father.

Akiro: I can’t believe you lied to me!
Jan: It wasn’t a lie! [spooky voice] It was an illusion!

Liberty: Alright everyone, pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have a minute.
Akane: Why? Are you in a hurry?
Liberty: No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.

Charles: Name a way to be nice to others.
Daniel: Don’t kill them.
Charles: Setting the bar a little low, but I’ll allow it.

Liberty: If you have a problem with the way I'm leading this crew you come to me!
Rozetta: I have a prob-
Liberty: I don't want to hear it!

Madilynn: Alright, well I'm gonna go now.
Arya: I'm sorry, was I not just in the middle of a story?
Madilynn: Yeah, but I wasn't really that interested in it.

i'm sorry if most of my quotes are including my characters but it's so much easier to picture your own charas saying something

T'inquiète, on fait tous principalement nos persos je pense XD

"You can still be thug as hell even if you cry everyday, right?" - Madilynn

Daniel : Is three fingers too much?
Charles : No, most people have ten.
Daniel : ...

"'What the fuck' is now an emotion and it's the only one I have" - Akiro

"Are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?" - Akane

Arya : Let me see that.
Akane : *growls* NOOOO!
Arya : *pats Akane's head* Nice demon.

Jan : I loved playing doctor as a child.
*flashback to young Jan with stethoscope and teddy bear*
Jan : The cancer has spread. Get your house in order.

"Can I stay at your place? no hobo." - Akiro to Jan

"I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under." - Rozetta

Arya : I’m a lesbian.
Alan, turning to face her : I thought you were Japanese?

Ned : Do you care if I take the skin off the furby? I want to make him a god. Once he is free from his sinful flesh he can begin the path toward enlightenment. He will take care of us.
Ned : Also I want to softhack his circuits.
Alan : I literally could not care less, but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

Akane : At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Arya : Murder?
Akane : Actually, it's an accident.
Arya : Oh, that's how I'm going to make it look.

Akane : Do you think Mosquitoes dare their friends to bite someone with bug spray on?
Charles : No, because Mosquitoes don’t have the mind to communicate in such complex ways.
Akane : Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were the world’s top Mosquito expert. Excuse me.

Charles [to Daniel] : Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Charles : Cause thou hast NO CLASS

Madylinn: So I’m never going to get to see you again?
Daniel : Hopefully.

"That’s why his hair is so big, it’s full of secrets." - Liberty about Charles

"Liberty, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Akane." - Arya