Incorrect RP quotes

Je rève du jour où Jan RP-era Owain. Ce sera brillant.

Owain : I'm eating at a Japanese steak house, and there was a calamari tentacle in my soup.
Owain : So naturally.
Owain : My dumb ass says out loud,
Owain : "I didn't order extra hentai."
Owain : Anyway, I can never go back there.

Akane : About a week ago, I accidentally slept with Owain.
Ada : Really?
Akane: Yes.
Ada: You accidentally slept with Owain...
Akane : Yes.
Ada: Accidentally.
Akane : Yes.
Ada : I don't understand. Did you trip over something?

(About 2017)
Rick : It’s The Year of the Rooster.
Owain : The Year of the Cock.
Lillia: The Year of the FIRE Rooster!
Owain : THE YEAR OF THE BIG COCK
Rick & Lillia : OWAIN NO



Owain : I hope you had fun, Jan!
Jan : Nah.
Owain : Did you have fun?
Jan : No.
Owain : Did you have fun though
Jan : No.
Owain : But, fun, did you have it?
Jan : See, you’re asking me the same question.

Katherine : I'm playing a new drinking game!
Katherine : It's called every time I'm depressed, I take a drink.
Owain : That game exists, it's called alcoholism.

Akiro : *Laying his head on Jan's chest* I can hear your heartbeat.
Jan : Let me know if it stops.

Owain : Excuse me, are you currently involved in a sexual relationship?
Random person : No.
Owain : Would you like to be?
Random person : Uh, sure, why not?
Owain : Can I have your phone number?
Random person : Uh... Yeah, yeah.

"I'm having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich."- Owain

Liberty : Rebel team subordinate Owain.
Owain : Yes, Satan?

Owain : How's your love life?
Adam : ...
Adam : *Gross sobbing*

Lillia, holding a camera : Smile!
Akane : No.

Rick : Owain, you think every round fruit is an apple.
Owain : No I don't.
Rick, pulling cherries out: Ok, then what are these?
Owain : Tiny apples.
Rick, pointing to pumpkins : And those?
Owain : Halloween apples.

Carina: Lead us into prayer, my dears.
Owain : In the name of the father, son, and the Holy ghost.
Owain : Head, shoulders, kness, and toes...
Adam : Turn up your nose, strike your pose-
In unison : Hey macarena!

"I'm unfamiliar with the concept of my life working out." - Rick

Owain : Hey Jan?
Jan : No.
Owain : I haven't said anything yet.

Owain : Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding.
Owain : Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

"I'll cry at my own wedding because it'll be a miracle it's happening." - Owain

Owain : Are you wearing space pants, 'cause your ass is outta' this world!
Akane : No, I'm wearing trainer pants because this ass is out of your league.
Owain : Damn...

Celle en hide a déjà été écrite. Mais je l'ai gardée parce que j'ai pensé exactement aux même persos pour la quote du coup, g ri

Bonjour bonjour bonjour eroijgoer
Aujourd'hui y en aura pas beaucoup parce que je suis un zombie


Rick : You know what, Owain? You're pretty cool.
Owain : The cooliest?
Rick : Don't ruin it.

Katherine : What's your height again?
Lillia : Height is overrated.
Katherine : Short, I see

"Well, at least I’m better than dirt. Well. Most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy, store-bought dirt. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I can’t compete with that stuff." - Owain

Jan : *under his breath* You look pretty.
Akiro : What was that?
Jan : I said you look shitty! Goodnight Akiro!


Lillia : I need you to stay calm, okay?
Akane : I'm just gonna stay angry. I find that it relaxes me.

Akane : Hello everybody, we’re going to have our weekly suggestions box meeting, so you can get in your constructive compliments ASAP.
Rick : Don’t you mean constructive criticisms?
Akane : What’d I say?
Rick : You said constructive compliments. That doesn’t make any sense.
Akane : Well, Rick, that was neither constructive or a compliment, so why don’t you stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions?

Owain : *puts hands over Jan's eyes* Guess who!
Jan : It's either Owain, or the cold, clammy hands of death.
Owain : It's me!
Jan : Dammit.

Rick : Stop arguing and help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a five letter word for disappointment.
Akane : Owain.
Owain : ...
Ada : ...
Rick : ... It fits.

"Since it is impossible to tell when the middle of my life is, I have decided to have an ongoing crisis." - Jan

Jan : Ow it hurts!
Akiro : What ???
Jan : The sound of Owain talking!

Akane : I will probably kill Owain in his sleep tonight.
Jan : Wake me up so I can watch.

"Owain, has the concept of personal space ever been explained to you?" - Literaly anyone, ever

Owain [checking his phone] : Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight.
Adam : His right hand is calling him?

[texting]
Owain : Akane? There’s a huge moth on the outside of the door. Can you get it please?? Please hurry because I’m gonna cry
Owain : ...Akane?
Akane : Akane is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

Rick : Akane's in jail.
Owain : Akane's in JAIL?!
Leon [to Ada] : You called it.

oupa

Lillia : Are you lying to me?
Jan : Define 'lying.'
Lillia : I define it as not telling the truth, how do you define lying?
Jan : Reclining your body in a horizontal position.

Owain : It's getting so cold, I wish I could have someone to snuggle with-
Akane : [Throws blanket] THEN GET A BLANKET
Akane: BUNDLE UP BITCH

"How do I run in heels? Faster than you, that’s for sure." - Akane

"I once killed a man in his sleep with his own moustache and a grape." - Akane

Rick : How do you sleep at night?
Katherine : On silk sheets, rolling naked in money.

Jonas : Kendall? Do I have a thing for her? No way!
[Silence]
Jonas : Why, did she say something?

Katherine : It's been so nice talking to you.
Rick : We were fighting.
Katherine : Must do it again sometime. Bye now.

Akiro : We're gonna die!
Rick : Only eventually.

Akane : Fuck you.
Owain : Is that an insult or a to do list?
Akane : What
Owain : What

Owain : Alright, let’s go over the plan one more time. If one of us dies first, what will the other one do?
Adam : Locate the corpse and move the body so it looks like they’re dabbing.
Owain : Exactly.

Liberty : I'm not a lame mom.
Liberty : I'm a cool mom.
Liberty : Right?
Owain : You're not even our mom.
Liberty : You're grounded.

Owain : As a college student, my favorite words to hear are ‘canceled’ and 'free’
Akane : Free pizza is canceled
Owain : Why would you say something like that

Je n'oublie pas mon forum


Adam : Hey, girl, you want some good sex?
Liberty : No.
Adam : THEN YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT GUY

Lillia : Good responses to being stabbed with a knife?
Jan : "Rude."
Owain : "Not again..."
Akiro : "Are you going to want this back?"

Jan : See this? This is my "I don't care" face.
Owain : That's your normal face.

Lillia : Did you just refer to the knife as a "people-opener"?
Akane : Should I not have?

Rick : What's Owain doing?
Akane : His best.

Owain : I gotta tell you something. I'm madly in love with you.
Akane : Well, good luck with that.

Akiro : How long are you going to stay mad at me?
Jan : Ten minutes.

"Do us a favor. I know it’s hard for you, but stay here and try not to do anything stupid." - Akane to Adam

Rick : Akane, are you going to complain the entire time?
Akane : Somebody has to!

"No no, I’m listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid all at once." - Jan to Owain

Edea : Awkward sibling hug?
Owain : Awkward sibling hug.
Both : Pat pat.

"I will punch you in the mouth. With my own mouth. Softly. Because I like you." - Jan to Akiro

Adam [seductively] : Take me, Liberty.
Liberty : Where? I’m low on gas and you need a jacket.

Owain : We look cute together.
Akane : I look cute with everybody.

Katherine : There was something that prevented me from having friends when I was a little girl.
Rick : It must have been your personality.

Lillia : Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.
Akane : Yeah, break their bones, they have 206 of those.

Charles : You ever wanna talk about your emotions, Akane?
Akane : No.
Charles : I do.
Akane : I know, Charles.
Charles : I’m sad.
Akane : I know, Charles.

Akane : Only geniuses can say these four words quickly. Eye. Yam. Stew. Pit.
Rick : Come on, no one's falling for tha-
Owain : IAMSTUPID

Liberty : Ask me a question, any question, and I'll answer it.
Katherine : Any question?
Liberty : Yes.
Katherine : Would you like some toast?
Liberty : I am a robot with an IQ of 12,000. You don't understand. I know the meaning of the universe.
Katherine : That's not answering my question.
Liberty : No, I would NOT like some toast.

Lillia : What's your favorite color?
Owain : Akane.
Owain : ... Wait, what was the question?

Rick : You're not as charming as you think you are.
Katherine : I'm precisely as charming as I believe I am, to the decimal place.

[Akiro and Jan skipping stones on the lake]
Akiro : It's such a beautiful evening.
Jan : *whispering* Take that, you fucking lake.

stahp

allez ça fait un bail

Owain : Jan's our enemy.
Owain : But it turns our Jan's his worst enemy.
Owain : [Pauses to stare into oblivion]

Aaron : Daddy's here, and Daddy's gonna take care of you.
Owain : Please don't refer yourself as our daddy.

Lillia : A haiku for filmmakers who set their films in Mexico.
Liliia : Your Mexico film / Better nor be about drugs / I swear to Gods bro.

Akane : So, what's the problem ?
Aaron : I want to ask you to kill a man for me.
Akane : [Smiles]

Rick : See, life is like a runaway dump truck; hot, fast and full of garbage.
Charles : What ?

Owain : I think it's cute when someone admits they have a crush on you.
Adam : I think it's a fucking miracle.

Edea : [Riding a bike]
Owain : I taught her everything she needs to know.
Lillia : Braking...?
Owain : ...
Owain : I taught her half of what she needs to know.

j'en rajouterai peut-être

Bon j'ai perdu toutes mes quotes l'autre fois donc là ça va être de la basse qualité remplie de haine


Owain : I don't get why we need driver's training. Driving is just like Mario Kart except slower and you can't throw blue shells at people.
Akane : Please never drive.

Akiro : *softly but with a lot of feeling* Fuck.

"I love saying ‘fuck me’ because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly." - Owain

Owain : Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?
Akane : Oh, my God. I don't know. Owain, go to sleep.


And now the one I spent hours typing the other day and that happens to be a classic :

"Would you fuck a clone of yourself?"
Owain : Yes.
Lillia : No.
Jan : I don't want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex and I'm not gay.
Adam : I'm not gay, but I would totally fuck my clone.
Rick : I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.
Akiro : I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.
Katherine : I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.
Akane : I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?
Kendall : It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.
Jonas : It's not the same as masturbating, it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!
Alan : I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone was evil.
Edea : I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.
Charles : To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
Carina : Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.
Liberty : You guys are nasty and I'm, frankly, a little concerned.

I probably had better-fitting names last but eff it


Akane : Describe your ideal man.
Lillia : He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing, and he plays the organ.
Akane : I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.

Akane : I will kill you in your sleep.
Charles : Haha I dont sleep

Lillia : What could be better than serving up smiles?
Jan: Being dead or anything else.

Jan : Oh, yes, I'll live.
Jan : But I won't enjoy it.

Owain : Hey Rick, what’s your biggest fear?
Rick : Being forgotten.
Owain : Damn. That’s deep. Mine’s the Kool Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

Akane : My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Alan : Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
Kendall : Tackle him.
Jan : Dump him.
Katherine : Kick him in the shin.
Owain : NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

Lillia : There are better things in the world than alcohol, Katherine.
Katherine : Oh yes, girl. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

Alan : I am not a murderer. Okay technically I am. Not even technically, literally. But I refuse to be defined by the one time I murdered somebody.
Charles : "one time"

Ada : We gotta get out of here!
Owain : Yeah, thank you Katherine obvious!
Ada : What?
Owain : I said, thank you Katherine obvious.
Akane : Did he say "Katherine obvious?"
Rick : It's "captain obvious."
Owain : Huh?
Rick : The expression is "Thank you, CAPTAIN obvious."
Owain : It's not Katherine?
Akane : No.
Rick : Who would Katherine be?
Owain : Katherine could be a captain.

Rick : Anyone ever tell you you've got anger issues?
Akane : I prefer the term "leadership skills"

Lillia : are you a practicing homosexual?
Kendall : I don't have to practice, I'm very good at it.

Akiro : So I walked into Jan's room while he was asleep and I knocked something over and he said “if you're a ghost or some shit please fuck off i'm too tired for this”

Carina : I like my girls like I like my boys.
Carina : That's it. That's the joke.
Carina : I'm bisexual.

voilà

Hey, pour montrer que j'existe j'ai décidé d'essayer de faire quelques quotes débiles, histoire qu'on puisse me juger avant de me connaître, enjoy!


Alan: I'm going to punch your mouth!
With my mouth! Gently...

Jan: Where's my oscar for acting like I'm not falling apart?


Alan: I just ended a 5-year relation ship.
Akiro: Are you okay?
Alan: It's okay. It wasn't my relationship.

Jan: I bet you both can't be quiet for 5 minutes.
*Five seconds later*
Owain: [sneezes]
Owain: That doesn't count since it was just sne-
Alan: SHUT UP, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE US LOSE!!
Jan: Well, it looks like I win.

Akane: We can't lose. Because we have this. [points to her chest]
Owain: We have heart.
Akane: Heart? No.
Akane: Me. I'm pointing to myself. I'm going to win this for us.

Alan: There is something that prevents me from having friends.
Jan: Probably your personality.

Aujourd'hui j'y vais avec délicatesse parce que je suis le personnage le plus doux de ce forum


Akiro : You were happy once, Jan.
Jan : I was never happy. I was just less pissed off.

"I get so upset when things are marked ‘child-resistant’ and I can’t open them like NO I AM AN ADULT I PROMISE" - Lillia

"I may not be smart enough to know everything, but I’m dumb enough to try anything." - Owain

Akane : Since we’re going to be working with each other, go ahead and introduce yourselves
Owain : My name is Owain with a "B", and I’ve been afraid of insects ever since—
Rick : Wait wait wait, where?
Owain : What?
Akane : Where’s the "B"?
Owain : *terrified* There’s a bee????



Je relance la tradition du Akijan en hide

Akane : Twinkle twinkle little star
Akane : I want to hit you with a car
Akane : Throw you off a tree so high
Akane : Hope you break your neck and die

Alan : Roses are red, violets are blue
Alan : If I had a brick, I'd throw it at you.

Owain : One does not simply
Owain : Revive an old meme

Jonas : You can't sleep your problems away.
Owain : I can try, though.

Akane: I could kill you if I wanted.
Alan: Yeah? So could a dedicated duck. You're not special.

Adam  : You guys might as well be a pile of leaves because you're about to get blown away.
Akane : sighs

"Get over here, Akiro. Being part of the group means being a part of group hugs." - Owain

Lillia : You're a kind person, aren't you?
Rick : Well, no. Not really.

"I want her now, at once, to embrace her and cling to her. No one can understand." - Owain

Owain : Thanks, cutiepie.
Akane : Ugh.
Owain : Sorry, I'll think of a better one than cutiepie. You're my angel.... dust. Sorry, that's a drug.

Rick : You take care of Akiro.
Akane : But how do I make it look like an accident?
Rick : I'm not saying murder, just talk to him like a regular person

Owain : Now that I have your attention-
Katherine : You don't have our attention.
Owain : MONEY.
Katherine : I'm listening!

Charles : Hey!
Jan : Ugh. This guy again.

Je vais essayer d'y aller doucement


Liberty : You spent $1500 on crack?
Katherine : That's short for crackers.
Liberty : You spent $1500 on crackers?

"I would be a morning person, if morning happened around 1PM." - Akane

Charles : Have a good day.
Jan : Don't tell me what to do.

Owain : I'm quick at math.
Rick : Okay, what's 38 times 76?
Owain : 24.
Rick : That's not even close.
Owain : But it was quick.
Celle là je trouve bizarre qu'on l'ait pas déjà faite mais je l'ai cherchée et pas trouvée


Alan : Hold this.
Jan : ... It's on fire.

Jan : A guy from work is going out of town this weekend and wanted to know if we could take care of his child.
Akane : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a big responsibility. What do we know about children?
Owain : I'm leaving. Bag?
Akane : [Hands Owain his backpack] I swear you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on. [To Jan] I don't know the first thing about taking care of a child. [To Owain] Where is your jacket? It's very cold outside.
Owain : Forgot.
Akane : Here, take mine. [To Jan] Kids are a lot of work.

Ada : May I get you anything to drink?
Akane : The tears of our enemies wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed.
Ada : I have jasmine tea.
Akane : Ooh, jasmine.

Jan : If you see Akiro, send him this face. *stares blankly* He'll know what it means.
Owain : ... Okay.
[later]
Owain : Jan wanted me to give you a message. *stares blankly*
Akiro : Ah... the neutral face of displeasure.

Akiro : Come on. I didn't drink that much last night.
Rick : You were flirting with Jan.
Akiro : ... So what? He's my husband.
Rick : You asked him if he was single... and started crying when he said he wasn't.

Jan [internally] : Owain stopped talking, he wants you to respond. Say something stupid.
Jan : I wasn’t thinking about killing you.
Owain : ...
Jan [internally] : Nailed it.

Lillia : So, what's it like dating Akane ?
Owain : Once, I asked her for a glass of water while she was pissed at me, and she brought me a glass full of ice and said "Wait."

Akane : Let’s get to know each other. What are your strengths?
Owain : I fall in love easily.
Akane : Okay... What are your weaknesses?
Owain : Those beautiful eyes of yours.

Welp I failed

Lots of Owaka in there.

Owain : Akane ? What're you doing in my room?
Akane : Shhhh.
Akane : Sorry, but I really had to wake you;
Akane : See, I decided I must ride you till I break you.

Akane : Let's make this beautiful!
Owain : That works for me-
(Akane kisses him. They make out.)

Carina : Jan, just for once, don't you want to try something new ?
Jan : Oh, Carina - trying is just first step toward failure.

Aaron : All our missions are done and it's still light outside. What else do you guys want to do today ?
Ada : We could drink lemonade and sit on the bridge.
Rick : We could go to the town square and face Liberty.
Owain : We could formally begin courting.
Aaron : What?
Owain : Nothing.

Adam : My mother said to just be myself and everyone would like me.
Akane : That would be good advice if you were somebody else.

Alan : Owain, allow me to be frank.
Owain : Okay Frank, allow me to be Owain.
Alan : I'm Alan Nevermore.
Owain : I thought you said your name was Frank.
Alan : Shut up, Owain!
Owain : Okay, Frank.

Lillia : You kidnapped me ?!
Akane : Yes.
Ada : Some of our actions were a bit regrettable.
Owain : At the time, we thought it'd be better to handle things our way.
Akane : No, we straight up kidnapped you.

"Life is pain. Any who says differently is selling something." - Jan

Rick : Why are you in a box?
Kendall : I dunno. I was just looking at it and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to get inside.
Kendall : No, not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here: in the box.
Rick: Destiny...?
Kendall : Yeah. And then when I put it on. I suddenly got this deeling of inner peace. I can't put it into words.
Kendall : I feel... safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true hapiness.
Rick : ...
Kendall : Does any of that make sense ?
Rick : Not even a little.

(Basically Kendall being a cat, and Rick being rude)

Owain : The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Akiro : That's a proverb  attributed to a prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects.
Owain : Well, still, it's a heck of a quote.

Akane : You disobey me, you die.
Akane : You try to escape, you die. You otherwise irritate or vex me ...and guess what ? You die.
Owain : I'm known to be quite HEXING. I'm just forewarming you.
Akane : You shut up!

Akiro : There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.
Jan : I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Akane : I've never had anyone stare at my ass for half an hour...
Akane : ...So I'm going to say good night. And I'm hoping you're going to say it back.
Owain : Okay. I can take a hint.
Owain : Just for the record, I was only staring at your ass for the first fifteen minutes.

Katherine : Everyone seeks happiness! Not ME though!
Katherine : That's the difference between me and the rest of the world!
Katherine : Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
Rick : ...
Katherine : The problem with you Rick, is you're always at a loss for words.
Rick : I've found that saves many a friendship.

Jonas : Getting into trouvle a little early today, aren't we, Owain ?
Owain : Trouble ? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.
Lillia : Gotcha!
Owain : I'm in trouble.

Akane : The door! Can't Get! Open!
Owain : Must be locked.
Akane : Where's the key ?!
Lillia : Maybe it's on Owain's keychain!
Owain : Let's see here... We have a piano key, skeleton key, key-board, key to the city, key-hole, key lime pie, key to my heart...
Owain: High-key, low-key, on-key, off-key, tric-key, o-key, do-key, articho-key, don quixole! On now that's a stretch.
Owain : Get rid of that one! Smo-key, ho-key, po-key, fran-key, cran-key, span-key, han-key, pan-key...
Owain : ...mon-key, don-key! And get ready! A-key-ro!
Akane : That accomplished absolutely nothing
Owain : Well, maybe we should just use the spare key

Rick : Face it, Akane, you get comptetitive over everything.
Akane : I am not comptetitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.

(Owain gets knocked out by an enthusiast)
Aaron : What idiot put him there!
Rick : You.
Aaron : Thank you for admitting your mistake.

Tout est en Lucida Console maintenant, ma vie n'a plus de sens

Akane : What's the signal if something goes wrong?
Owain : How about "Oh, shit!"?
Akane : That's good.

Ada : You should be ashamed of yourself!
Owain : I am, 24/7.

Ada : Dumbest scar stories, go!
Edea : I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Akane : I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Aaron : See this little scar on my arm? I got that when one of my cast mates dug their nails in my arm during bows.
Akiro : I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing my self with a pencil in the first grade.
Rick : I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Owain : I have a few scars on my arm from crashing my skate board.
Jan :
Jan : I have emotional scars.

Owain : We're gonna die!
Akane : God, I hope so

Ada : Rick ! We need to go ! Come out !
Rick : I'm gay !
Ada : Not what I meant, but I support you.

Akane : I have cried twice in my life. once, when I was a child and my best friend died. and then again when I met Owain.

Edea : Hey, Owain...
Edea : Was I adopted ?
Owain : Not yet, we still haven't found anyone who wants you.

“You think that disapproving glare works on me after all the times I’ve seen it?” - Alan to Akane

Rick : I’m not interested in you that way.
Katherine : What way?
Rick : Pick one.

Edea : The only person who’s allowed to call my brother a jerk is me!
Owain : Yeah! And if I’m a jerk, I wanna hear it from her!

Akiro : Lillia, why are you standing so far away from Alan?
Lillia : Because I want to live.

Owain : Is that a new "or else" look?
Akane : Yes.
Owain : Wow.
Akane : I have recently added it to my repertoire. Is it threatening?
Owain : Extremely.
Akane : Good.

Jan : I don't think I'm even sick anymore. I feel great.
Akiro : Do you?
Jan : Never better. Not in my life. [He starts coughing.]
Akiro : How many fingers am I holding up?
Jan : The Fifth Amendment says I don't have to answer that question.
Akiro : How many fingers? Simple question for a man in robust state of health. No?
Jan : Four.
Akiro : Four?
Jan : ...ish
Akiro : No, Jan, it was not four-ish fingers.

"If we looked for everyone who tried to kill you, we'd do nothing else." - Aaron, to Alan

Adam : Why did Owain throw butter out the window?
Akane : You did what?
Adam : ...To see a butter FLY!
Owain : I never did that! Adam, are you telling lies?

Bonjour la quote de Steven Universe, susu je t'ai vue.

[laying in bed]
Jan : You're staring.
Akiro : I'm gazing.
Jan : It's creepy.
Akiro : It's romantic.

Owain : Hey, did you ever see that one movie, the one where there's this cowboy and he's, like, the king of the castle. And then this astronaut shows up and he tries to take over. And so the cowboy attempts to murder him. But instead, the astronaut is taken hostage by this evil psychopath and the cowboy has to rescue him. And then they end up becoming really good friends.
Akane : ... Toy Story?
Owain : Oh, my god, Toy Story! That's it, that's it! I love that movie!

"I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying." - Jan

Mayu : A guy should mess up your lipstick, not your mascara.
Akane : Mess up my lipstick and people will be watching your body get scooped out of a river on the news.

Rick : Why do we always have to get involved? Can't we do normal stuff that normal people do, like... go to brunch?
Alan, looking up from his bomb : What the fuck is brunch?
_{Je sais pas j'ai cherché un ami à Alan et j'ai pas trouvé}

Lillia : Is anyone else scared?
Jan : Not really. I've already lived longer than I expected.

Reporter : Can you tell the camera a little about yourself?
Jan : *staring at the camera* I crave death.

Owain : *unbuttoning shirt* Damn it’s hot in here
Akane : Then why are you unbuttoning MY shirt?

j'aime tes quotes jan

Aaron : Imagine if someone handed a box full of all the items you've lost throughout your life.
Owain : It'd be nice to get my sense of purpose back.
Edea : Oh, wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Akiro : My will to live! I haven't seen this in years!
Adam : I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Aaron : Kids, could you lighten up a little?

Akane : You know those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea?
Owain : And then I ignore you, yeah.

Lillia : The love you two have for each other is so wonderful. I wish I had a sibling..
Edea : I'd sell him to you.
Edea : Cheap.

Adam : Hey, uh... Why are we lying on the ground?
Owain : You knocked yourself unconscious.
Owain : So I laid down next to you so everyone would think we were chillin'.

Rick : Since when babysitting Owain and his friends my-
Rick : Oh my gods, that's exactly my job.

[Charles sits closer to Liberty]
Owain : The triangle's not a friendly shape, okay? It's pointy. It's got edges. Triangles hurt people, man.

Katherine: Hey, I'm sitting here, wearing my ring
Katherine : Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong
Katherine : Like my shirt, or...
Katherine : My underwear.
Katherine : That's right I'm not wearing any.
Owain : No underwear?
Katherine : Not even slightly
Alan : Guys.
Alan : Boundaries.

Alan : What do you do when things don't work out?
Katherine : Drink my worries away.

Akiro : Hey Jan ? What do you think is the height of stupidity ?
Jan : Hm, hold on
Jan : Owain, how tall are you?

Owain : Goodnight, dude.
Jan : Goodnight, bitch.

" People die if they are killed." - Owain

"This is your father, Owain Akane Ueno. Yes, he took my first name as his middle name, as does ANY good husband." - Akane

Edea : I love you
Jan : Wrong number
Edea : I’m standing right here
Jan : Wrong address
Edea : But-
Jan : Leave a message at the tone.

(texting)
Akiro : nose
Akiro : I just typed nose with my nose!
Jan : heart
Akiro : WHAT THE FFUKC ARE YOU OK

Akane : Yeah. They very, very unfairly accused us of poisoning our rival team.
Ada : You got framed?!
Akane : No, we did poison the shit out of them. But they didn’t have any proof.

Katherine : Owain, choke me.
Owain : Why ? Are you into that ?
Katherine : No, I want to die.

Jan : What do I hate most?
Akane : People?

Katherine : This is for Owain, when you find him. *kisses Adam on the cheek*
Adam : *clears his throat* Alright, but I-I don't think it'll mean the same coming from me...


"My mother didn’t raise me to be a quitter. In fact, my mother didn’t raise me." - Jan

Akane : All right, you're clearly not listening to me. I can say whatever I want.
Katherine : Tell me about it.
Akane : I murdered Owain last night.
Katherine : I feel you.
Akane : Now that I have the taste for blood, I can't stop murdering.
Katherine : Been there.

Owain : Attention Rebels this is Owain speaking. I have an announcement to make but first you have to promise not to get mad.

Akane : I wanna do bad things to you.
Charles : Oh really, like what?
Akane : Break your fucking neck.

Adam : Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows!
Akane : Adam spends many hours of the day staring at the sun.

"Adam, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men." - Owain, after greeting any girl

Lillia : Not everything on the internet is true.
Katherine : So there aren't beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me?

"I've just thought of a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel" - Rick

Akiro : I'm going to the store. Do you want anything?
Jan's mind : THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT.
Jan : A bagel.
Jan's mind : NOOO!
Jan : Two bagels.

Rick : I would like to present my client's internet search history from that evening.
Owain : I'd rather just confess to the murder.

"Oh God, I can't believe I'm going to die like this! And I never even got to... tell Owain... how stupid his memes are!" - Akane

Lillia : Go to sleep
Kendall: I'll sleep tomorrow
Lillia : It's already tomorrow
Kendall : It's not tomorrow until I sleep

Arya, to Akane : Come here a sec, you've got some dirt on your forehead.
Arya to Akane still : I'm sorry it's just the sign of the devil, my mistake

"I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book." - Edea to Akiro, probably

"I don't need a boyfriend. I need 12 million dollars and a doughnut." - Katherine

"When I eat with people I'm not comfortable with, I get panic attacks, become violent and curse at times." - Akane

"Aw, you're jealous of my suit. You're mad jelly, bro. I could spread you on toast and serve it to a pretty lady." - Owain to Adam

Celle avec Jan et les bagels c'est ma préférée pour toujours omg

Akiro : There’s something on your mouth *kisses Jan*
Jan : There’s something on yours too *kisses Akiro*
Alan : What the fuck do we even buy napkins for ?

Edea : Wanna see a trick?
Owain : The last time you showed me a trick, it took two weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.

Alan : Sorry for talking about super scientific stuff so much last night. I know it bugs people sometimes when I don't shut up.
Rick : What? You sat on the couch for a solid two hours staring at your fingerprints, and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how".

Jan : So you remember the plan if I ever get shot, right?
Akane : Of course.
Jan : Tell me.
Akane : In the case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, we are to sing MMM WHATCHA SAY no matter what the circumstances.
Jan : Good.


Akiro : *exists*
Everyone : So blessed. So moved. So grateful. Can't believe this is my life. Never going to take it for granted. Always going to give back. Thank you.

Arya : You're clearly straight from hell.
Akane : I'm clearly bisexual from hell.

Owain : Can I live here?
Akane : Absolutely not.
Owain : I brought rent money.
Akane : Did you bring a toothbrush?

Edea : *sitting at a table in a restaurant*
Jan : Are you here alone?
Edea : *blushing* Yes.
Jan : *takes the extra chair away*

"I’d like to be taken out tbh. In a date way or a sniper way, I have no preference." - Akiro

Ada : I have a question
Akane : Yeah, of course, feel free to ask me anything !
Ada : What's a "dom"?
Akane : ... OWAIN, ADA HAS A QUESTION

Alan : How'd you get the whole Rebel crew to betray me? What'd you offer them?
Rick : I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you and they instantly said yes.

Jan : Akiro ! Wow, you look just the same! Nothing’s changed!
Akiro : …
[later]
Akiro : Do I look twelve years old to you?
Owain : Fourteen.

Jan : [lying on the ground in the sun]
Katherine : Hey... What are you doing?
Jan[sarcastically] : Photosynthesizing.
Katherine : Oh
Katherine : [lays down next to him] I bet I can photosynthesize better than you.

Adam : If I were to flip a coin, what would be the chances of you giving me head?
Liberty : Statistically speaking, 50%
Adam : Realistically?
Liberty : 0%


Jan : Yeah, well, I hate you.
Akiro : No you don’t.
Jan [bitterly] : No, I don’t.

Owain : I love you.
Akane : ...Well. That was your worst idea yet.

"Look, I’m sorry everybody wants to have sex with me, okay? I can’t help that. Newsflash, I’m hot! Everybody wants to get with this… Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants probably." - Katherine

Rick : What'd you do with the body?
Alan : What didn't I do with the body?
Rick : ...
Alan : That sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of him respectfully.

“I don’t have a nervous system. I’m a nervous system.” - Akiro

“I think i’m subconsciously trying to ruin my own life.” - Jan

"I don’t want to look 'pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.” - Katherine

“Are we just friends or is this flirting serious?” - Owain, to Akane

“she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s me.” - Akane

“Sorry for being awesome, loser.” - Rick

(J'en rajouterais plus tard normalement mdr)

Jan : Hey, Akiro, what's your last name ?
Akiro : Uh... Lynn. It hasn't changed since we first met.
Jan : *drops down on one knee* Well, maybe it's time it does.


Voilà c'est ma seule quote enjoy

Edit : Juuuust kidding, j'en ai une poignée d'autres

Owain : Hello. It’s Owain.
Rick : What did he do this time?
Owain : No, it’s Owain. It’s actually me.
Rick : What did you do this time?

Akane : You're pretty dumb.
Charles : Thank you.
Akane : Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.
Charles : All I heard was "You're pretty". I'm focusing on the positives in life.

"If I had learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now." - Jan

Akane : It’s time for Plan B.
Ada : We have a Plan B?
Akane : No, but it’s time for one.

Akiro : You saved me, Jan. I owe you my life.
Jan : No thanks, I’ve seen it, and I’m not impressed.
JAN BEING SAVAGE FOR SOME REASON

Akiro : If I were a gardener, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.
Jan : Aww.
Owain : If I were a gardener, you’d be my hoe.
Akane : … Thanks.

Akane : You know, you’re not pleasant when you’re like this, Alan.
Alan : I’m always like this.
Akane : My point exactly.

Owain : What do we need to get out of the city ?
Liberty : Something you severely lack.
Owain : Something I lack ?
Akane : That narrows it down to just about everything.

I need to find someone else than Akane to be hilariously rude

Liberty : I have someone standing abnormally close to me right now. I’ll call you later.
Arya : Okay, say hi to Adam for me.

"I honestly can’t tell the Rebels apart half the time because I don’t go by height or age. I go by the amount of pain in my ass, which makes them all identical." - Arya

Owain : It is nice to see you again.
Akane : Are you talking to my butt?
Owain : Yes.

Akane : We don’t download films illegally because we’re honest, hardworking people.
Owain : And we don’t know how.

Liberty : Can you comment on Akiro making a suicide attempt earlier today?
Owain : He made a suicide attempt? I… sad.
Liberty : Is that your official statement? “I sad”?

Akiro : Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I know what’s going on in your head.
Jan : Oh, well, then welcome to the terror dome.

Adam : Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?
Liberty : I am suggesting that you may not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do possess one, you certainly have never opened it.

Edea : Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a long, hot, steamy bath, with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.
Jan : You’re only gonna sit in an inch of water?
JAN BEING SAVAGE FOR SOME REASON²

ça fait un bail

Owain : I'm not convinced I know how to read.
Owain : I've just memorized a lot of words.

Charles : Define "Dream"!
Rick : Dream - the first thing people abandon when they understand how this world works
Charles : That's too dark!

Arya: Win this for LIberty !
Charles : For Liberty!
Akane : Win this because I told you to!
Owain : Because you told me to!

Lillia : Akiro, just for once, don't you want to try something new ?
Akiro : Lillia - trying is just the first step towards failure.

j'en vois pas d'autres qui me parlent, eh, plus pas d'ordi pour l'instant chez moi, la vie est ouf

Omg je crois que j'avais même pas vu tes quotes ??
Les rebels vs les enthusiasts, tellement réaliste

Interviewer : Is there anything else you want to say to the people watching?
Akane : My favourite colour is blood.
Interviewer : ...
Interviewer : All right.

Jan : *breathes*
Akiro : Flawless, fantastic, incredible, show-stopping.

Owain : Uh... Hey, Adam, can I ask you a question?
Adam : Yes.
Owain : Why are we lying on the ground?
Adam : You got knocked out, so I laid down next to you so people would just think we were chilling.

Owain : Damn it. The printer completely messed up these invitations. They're supposed to say "Akane's birthday".
Rick : What do they say?
Owain : "Akane's bi".
Owain : Actually, that works, too.

Adam: Tired?
Owain: I was up all night with my girlfriend.
Adam: Yeah, those imaginary girlfriends can be pretty wild.

Jan : I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are.
Jan :
Jan : Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't.

Owain : Did I ever tell you how pretty you are when you're angry?
Akane : Well, I must be gorgeous because I'm furious!
_{J'ai l'impression d'avoir déjà fait celle là}

[texting]
Owain : Alphabet soup? More like Times New Ramen, am I right?
Akane : Owain, it's fucking 2 AM,

Owain: [on a date] You know, just the other day someone asked who was the most beautiful person in the whole world. You know what I said?
Katherine: What did you say?
Owain: I said… [sees Akane in the window] Akane ?
Katherine: Akane ?!
Owain: No! No that’s not what I was going to say!
Katherine: Owain, you’re not making any sense.
Owain: I mean sure she's handsome, she's-

[To a future Rebel]
Akane : So where are you from?
Them : Who cares? I can't go back!
Akane : Ah, you're an outcast! That's great, so are we.

Akiro : Thank you for inviting me to the party.
Akiro : If you need me, I will be in the corner, drinking & trying not to make eye contact.

Katherine : Help!
[Katherine falls below the water, but Akane pulls her up before she drowns]
Katherine : Oh Owain, you saved me!
[She kisses Akane on the cheek.]
Akane : Actually, it’s me.
Katherine : Oh… well… [chuckling embarrassedly] You can go ahead and let me drown now.

Jan: At times like this I guess all you can do is laugh.
Jan: *sits silently*

Rick : You’re so naive, Charles. You see the good in everyone, even when it’s not there. You’re living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no Tooth Fairy. There is no Queen of England. This is the real world, and you need to wake up!

Owain: Do you trust me?
Akane: Nope, but let’s get this over with anyway.

Owain : I guess I'm just too tough to cry.
Akane : Just today you were crying about snakes.
Owain : (sadly) They don't have any arms!

"When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Jan Lyons lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the person who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons!" - Jan's inner self, probably

Owain : Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea.
Rick : Those are never comforting words coming from you.

Katherine : Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste? You do think I'm beautiful, don't you, Rick?
Katherine : You didn't answer right away. You had to think about it first, didn't you? If you really thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up.
Katherine : (storms off) I know when I've been insulted! I know when I've been insulted!
Rick : Good grief.

"I should’ve made a sandwich instead of making you!" - Akane to Owain

Akane : *leaves*
Owain : I SOLEMNLY SWEAR I AM UP TO NO GOOD!

huehue

Akane : This is persecution. Why can’t you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
Liberty : You tried to kill me and wipe out the entire human race.
Akane : Apart from that.

Alan : I failed my safety course today.
Owain : What happened?
Alan : Well, one of the questions was, "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"
Owain : And?
Alan : Apparently, "FUCKING LARGE ONES" wasn't the right answer.

Arya : You'll have to forgive Akane. She has a heart condition.
Arya : ... She doesn't have one.

Jan : Your Honour, I would like to plead guilty as well as request the death penalty.
Judge : This... is a parking ticket...

Akiro : Some people give off a vibe of… right away it’s, “Don’t fuck with me”
Akiro : My vibe is more like, “Hey, you could pour hot soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize.”

*the Rebels, robbing a house*
Liberty : FREEZE!
Aaron : HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND US ?!
Akane : I don’t know, maybe you should ASK OWAIN !
Owain : *playing the Pink Panther theme song on his phone* I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP SET THE MOOD-

Akane : Who is that ? Is he cool ?
Owain : Akiro ? He’s cool.
Akane : Hey, who’s your favorite superhero?
Akiro : Uhh... Matilda.
Akane : Alright, he’s cool.

"You’re my friends, and I love you; but you’re terrible. You’re all terrible. " - Akane to the Rebels

Liberty : What do you think, Arya ?
Arya : I wasn't listening, but I strongly disagree with Akane.

Jan : Do you have to sing ?
Edea : I always sing when I'm in a good mood !
Jan : Do you have to be in a good mood ?

Akane : Why do you put up with Adam ?
Owain : Oh, um, you know. Because we're friends.
Akane : Why?
Owain : Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but you have to remember he's not doing it on purpose. It's just how he is. Oh, but he's also loyal and trustworthy, and we have fun together.
Akane : You know you're describing a dog.
Owain : He DID bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.
Akane : They hate that.

Akiro : We use mankind’s greatest weapon.
Jan : A grenade.
Akiro : The written word.
Jan : Ugh, I’m out.

" It’s a minor miracle I’m not a hooker right now." - Katherine

Allez je me prête au jeu même si I'm terrible at it
Si y'a des références à LiS c'est pas moi /SLAP

Akane : Did you do your chemistry homeworks ?
Arya : If I'm remembering correctly, the answer was... fluorine, uranium, carbon, potassium... and uh... uranium again.
Akane : This says "fuck u".
Arya : Exactly.

Owain : Hey wanna go see that new movie with me ?
Akane : Uh no thanks I'd rather have my eyes gouged out with rusted forks.

Adam : Uhm... Nice Liberty we're having, right ?
Liberty :
Adam : OH GOD UHM WEATHER. Nice weather.

Akane : Look up "idiot" in the dictionary, you know what you'll find ?
Arya : ...a picture of me ?
Akane : No! The definition of the word "idiot", which you FUCKING are !

Rick : Please keep an eye on Owain today. He’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
Akane : Sure, I’d love to see Owain get punched.
Rick : Try again.
Akane : I will... stop Owain from getting punched?
Rick : Correct.

Arya : How do girls in girl groups not fall in love with their group members?
Akiro : Apparently it’s called “being straight”. Idk, I don’t really understand that way of life.

"Too bad Owain’s not here to enjoy Owain not being here." - Akane

Charles : You know what we should do ?
Alan, backing up : … calm… ourselves ?
Charles : Nooo… we should all have dinner ! Yes, we’ll do it tomorrow night ; I’ll cook !
Arya : Don’t you think that would be a little weird ?
Charles : (hysterically) Weird ? What ? What’s weird ? The only thing weird would be if someone didn’t like Mexican food, because I’m making FAJITAS !

Liberty : It’s a chance to do the right thing.
Akane : I love those moments. I like to wave to them as they pass by.

Akane : Sorry about your guitar.
Arya : Don't use that sarcastic tone with me, young lady. I can see you rolling your eyes.
Akane : Uh, hello, I was actually saying sorr--
Arya : I see everything.
Akane : I'll... warn everything.
(I LOVE ARYA AND AKANE THEY'RE FUNNY)

Liberty : (exists)
Arya : I'm gay.
Adam : I'm straight.
Arya : (staring at Adam) Yes you're straight out of Newwell.

Akane : Look there's something on your face !
Akane punchs them.
Akane : IT WAS PAIN.

Liberty : Arya can you pass me the salt please ?
Arya : Sure. (hands Akane over)

"I'd give a fuck but I forgot where I buried it." - Jan

Owain : We're gonna die !
Owain : No, Owain, think positive.
Owain : We're gonna die quickly !

Akiro : Let's play a game !
Akiro : Would you rather die
Akiro : or
Jan : die
Akiro : let me finish !
Jan : die